Whenever Newsletter 6-2

Website renovation is underway and causing me to ponder new possibilities. For example, is it time for me to take up smoking? You wouldn't believe how much work goes into a website. All those 0's and 1's have to be just so. In my case, we had to rename 1,600 cartoons. By hand!

The content won't change much. It will be the same hokey, ill-advised humor as before. We'll add a section for "Real Life Snapshots" (photographs with captions), the guestbook will become "The Chatterbox," and the home page will be rearranged to please the Google gods.

In the meantime I continue to receive mail from anxious webmasters. The latest involves a cartoon where the Green Giant stomps on a house that may or may not have been occupied. For fear of litigation, editors want some kind of disclaimer: "No elves were harmed in the making of this cartoon."



If you ask me -- and no one does -- trademark attorneys lack vision. Corporate America needs to learn the cardinal rule of media: "Talk good about me, talk bad about me, so long as you talk about me." Howard Stern could teach a class inside his mansion.

Snapshots is nearing 70 million hits per year ... maybe it's time for the Green Giant to pay us to kill some elves. And for companies to bid on twisted product placement.

We could have a bully take a break from beating up a classmate to rejuvenate with Gatorade. Or Pepsi. Or Mentos -- "The Freshbeater."

Or we could have a man throwing up Cinnamon Schnapps -- Because your vomit never tasted so good ^TM.

I myself am woozy from the overpadded, OSHA-compliant, tamper-resistant, soccer-mom hysteria. Soon we'll just post a sign on the outskirts of town: "Society closed for liability reasons."
So yes, until I receive a summons, Snapshots will have green giants smashing houses, squirrels abducting Mr. Peanut, and Mickey Mouse throwing tantrums as he adjusts to life without heroine ... Behind the Scenes.



And those companies will bid for the privilege. Muahahahaha.

J.