Whenever Newsletter 5-4

People often email to say hi or tell jokes or share j-pegs of their dog. David Chetham-Strode, who subscribes to the daily cartoon, God help him, sent the following message:

"I've asked that same question of some of the women I've known."

I thought he was responding to some forgotten email until later, in bed, when I remembered that day's cartoon.



My laughter woke up the missus.

Speaking of which, I need to publicly apologize to my wife for, well, everything. She not only lives with the bad jokes and long hours, but I continue to give her the finger. I raise my index finger to shush her so that I can write a note that she herself inspired.

Yahaira doesn't mind that so much as taking dictation. We could fill canyons with the notes she has taken. The problem is that ideas always come when I'm in the shower. Must be something about lathering the naughty places.

"Front!" I yell, shampoo in my eyes.

And there she appears, notepad in hand, the dutiful woman who rues the day she ever said, "I do."

"Front" is a character from Stranger in a Strange Land and -- never mind. The point is that Yahaira's I-do just got worse. Now she has to pull over in the car so that I can snap photographs. They're for a new feature called "Real Life Snapshots," appearing for now in the blog.

Every time we go out, Yahaira has to decide between (a) driving the car knowing that at any moment she may be asked to come to a skidding stop, or (b) taking responsibility for capturing once-in-a-lifetime moments before they slip away forever and it's all her fault.

Someday when I'm accepting the Pulitzer Prize for "Funniest Stuff Happening on the Side of the Road," I will thank Yahaira for making it possible. Unless, of course, she drives us off a cliff before then.

On a side note, does anyone have experience with slide shows? I was thinking about posting a montage of all the Snapshots posing I've done through the years. Vladimir's English keeps getting better, but we still rely on charades. It's easier, for instance, to model "exasperation" than to explain it.

Because I've already doubled my website budget for the year, I'd be asking for a freebie (gulp). You could, of course, work in subliminal ads the way they do on MTV. Or maybe, as a lark, flash pictures of yourself lathering your naughty places.

J.