Whenever Newsletter 4-7

Most people ignore the minivote because it is, in the final analysis, stupid. But once in a while, when no one is looking, the minivote spawns the kind of discussion that can alter public opinion...
"If there was a drug that made you smarter but also made you fatter, would you take it?"

Twenty-two percent said yes and seventy-eight percent no. The point, says Dr. John Davey, is that such a drug already exists and we call it marijuana. Disputatious words from a doctor. Of course, I didn't ask what kind of doctor he is. He could be a doctor of P.E. or something.

Davey cited a poll conducted by CNN in 2004, when 20% of Americans confessed to smoking marijuana routinely. This is in perfect keeping with the results of my minivote, and think of all the money CNN could have saved had they merely consulted me first. Jasonlove.com: Where all the stories break.

In other news, I recently placed a 911 to the trademark police. The border of a rival comic, Half the Deck, was uncomfortably close to that of Snapshots. I asked Bruno, my asset-kicking attorney, to write a letter stating that if she, the offender, did not change her ways, very bad things would happen, like, soon.

Mary Dunne, the creator, turned out to be gentle, well-spoken, and nothing at all like my profile of other cartoonists. She wrote that she "appreciates my position" and that "life is too short to spend time getting stressed." Needless to say, I felt pretty dumb.

Mary switched to a border that not only better suits her comic but looks a hell of a lot nicer. So in my clumsy, bullying, backhanded way, I managed to help the competition. I don't mind, though; she deserves it.

I also want to give thanks to Charlie Myers, who has been feeding me cartoon ideas for as long as I can remember. Every morning I open my e-mail to a new concept. At first I wondered if Charlie wasn't framing me, but he just keeps dropping them off with a friendly smile. It's like having my own personal punch line fairy.

I encourage you to visit Charlie and tell him how great he is. I myself will never be able to repay (or outpace) his generosity. He is making it extra hard for me to uphold this jaded worldview.

Finally, I need ideas for a video column that I am producing for The Ventura Star. It's supposed to be funny human interest stuff like what I've done in the past (http://www.jasonlove.com/video/).

Ideas so far include retaking the SAT to see how dumb I've gotten, talking on bullhorns at the market to spoof the madness of walkie-talkie cell phones, etc.

Remember: There are no bad ideas ... just ideas that other people snicker at. Thanks again for your help. Someday I'll put you on the payroll.

J.