Whenever Newsletter 4-3

We call it the "Whenever Newsletter" because it happens whenever I get around to it. Still, I apologize for the holdup. As much as I love ya, business has been good, which is to say that I'm drowning in deadlines.



Thank you to those who helped with the snake dilemma. It turns out that my fears were unfounded: You were not only okay with snakes ingesting babies but suggested a number of other things that we could put in the snake's belly, including household pets, expecting mothers, and yours truly.

Diane from Kentucky brought me back to Earth when she suggested, in her simple Kentucky way, that we show a rattle and maybe mention what is happening in the caption.

Diane's suggestion was so right, so real, so ... humiliating. Here I was trying to count my fingers using the Pythagorean Theorem, when I could just change the caption.

I mailed books to four or five others who made me laugh. I'd send books to everyone, but my accountant says that it would be bad for me.

Chris from Mars (that's how his message was signed, so I assume it was a male Chris ... female Chrises are from Venus) inspired a spin-off in which musclesnakes swallow dumbbells. Here is the beta version:



OH -- I received my first death threat, which tells me that I am arriving. It came from someone who may or may not have front teeth and who feels that I overstepped my bounds to suggest that Jesus was black. He said that if he finds out where I live that he will @#$%, *%$#@, and possibly $%#*@!

I was going to reply with a comment about the Christlike nature of his message, but my accountant says that it would be bad for me.