I have been circulating my work for six years now, during which time I have sent clips to every newspaper, magazine, and leaflet in the western hemisphere. Most editors don't reply at all; the ones who do reply by form letter.
Dear Contributor,
Not that your work is without merit, but it didn't strike us as something that should appear in print. To show you that we're not bad guys, we didn't keep the stamp from your SASE.
My collection of form letters has grown so thick that I decided to wallpaper a room with them. If I continue to get rejected at the present rate, I should finish the entire house by fall.
The syndicates are especially tired of me. If they so much as scribble an encouraging note, I reply by phone. Several times if necessary. Some syndicates have posted a sign bearing my picture: "Do not humor this man."
Of course, syndicates reject submissions so quickly that you wonder if they read them at all. Last week, I received the following:
Dear Contributor,
In case you are thinking of submitting work, please note that we have already decided that it is not right for us at the present time. This is not a reflection on your work but on company policy to reject anyone who isn't already famous.
So it goes.
There's no sense crying now. They told me it would be hard when I entered the business. "You need thick skin to be a writer," my dad said. My skin is so thick that it's actually one giant callous. But I will persist in my submitting because when all is said and done, I've got rooms to decorate.
