Funny Sayings 08-11

Live each day as if it were your last because today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Insurance fraud: accidents on purpose.

Imagine how prolific Shakespeare would have been with a computer.

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Unless, of course, you're a masochist, in which case raise hell.

Hitler would have been very big on cloning.

The birds and the bees never made since, but they did monkeys at the zoo were good enough to spell it out.

In prison the baptized murderers don't even talk to unbaptized murderers.

I used to exercise. Now I just hold in my stomach.