Funny Sayings 07-101

It's good to explore all of your options before making a stupid decision.

Some see the glass as half-empty; others see the glass as half-full. No one ever asks what's in the glass.

Respect thy elders. Even when they drool on you.

Diarrhea also happens.

No matter how pathetic you are, there is someone out there who is equally pathetic and who will marry you.

The hardest part about writing is getting the words out of the way.

If you ever wonder if you should get gas, get gas.

A mediator has done his job when both sides hate him.

The world is divided into haves and have nots -- those who have a sense of humor and those who do not.

Never trust a driver whose hands are in the 10:00-2:00 position.

When you diet with your spouse, it's just one more way of cheating.

Remember that you are totally unique ... just like everyone else.

Misery is too much work.